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Jan. 22nd, 2006 04:29 pmFriday night afterwork I went out to dinner with my friend/coworker Oceana to the citrus club in the haight. Cheap and delicious peanut noodles.
My favorite!
Then afterwards I made my way over to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
castrowoof's house to save him from the task of making a photo board for dacubsf's memorial service. I believe castrowoof asked me to do it "because if left up to him it would end up coming off LESBIAN."
I had a great time sitting with ed and going through all of jeff's photos and hearing all the stories behind them. Plus it felt good to know that there was something that I could do for ed since he already had so much on his plate as it was.
Four hours and a screening of "Xanadu" later I left ed's at 1am feeling really good but exhausted. My body hates me right now I swear.
The next morning I ran around withdhbearguy and beg1n to Costco to pick up some last minute foody items as well as met up with kitchenbeard and sf_luke to finalize some cooking arrangements (and by cooking, I mean reheating...kitchenbeard would cut me if I made it seem like he 'cooked' the corn dogs and mozzarella sticks). I had never met Luke and he lived up to his humorous reputation!
dacubsf's service was really beautiful. Sitting there before hand watching everyone arrive, I realized that even though I never met jeff, I seemed to know about 80% of the people there. If the company he chose to keep is any hint at who he was as a person, then I know I would have liked him.
During the ceremony there was the time for people who knew jeff to stand up and share a story, or memory with everyone. It was very emotional and sad, but also very humorous. Good cries as well as good laughs.
I'm not sure what came over me but before I could stop myself I walked up to the front of the church in front of everyone and shared my own 2 cents. I'm sure there were people there who probably thought I had no business being there, let alone SPEAKING at his memorial...but I didn't care. There were things that needed to be said, so I said them.
Basically I said that I had never met jeff once. Not a single time. But that I did get to witness the outpouring, and the concern, and the act of all his friends taking it upon themselves to raise money, visit, support, make his last days as comfortable as possible, and make sure his mom didn't have to take care of everything herself. I said that if jeff could be at his own memorial and could speak, he'd tell everyone how proud he was, and how lucky and fortunate he was to have the friends he does.
Of course I couldn't hold it together and started crying halfway through my little improv speech, which made me feel silly since I didn't officially know the man I was talking about. But I have gotten to know his friends and by the tears and smiles of everyone there, I know they appreciated hearing it.
I can only hope that if I were to die, my friends would take care of my mother and make sure my memorial was casual, fun, emotional, full of funny stories, friends, silly food, and a sense of both closure and a lifetime of remembrance.
My favorite!
Then afterwards I made my way over to
castrowoof's house to save him from the task of making a photo board for dacubsf's memorial service. I believe castrowoof asked me to do it "because if left up to him it would end up coming off LESBIAN."I had a great time sitting with ed and going through all of jeff's photos and hearing all the stories behind them. Plus it felt good to know that there was something that I could do for ed since he already had so much on his plate as it was.
Four hours and a screening of "Xanadu" later I left ed's at 1am feeling really good but exhausted. My body hates me right now I swear.
The next morning I ran around with
dhbearguy and beg1n to Costco to pick up some last minute foody items as well as met up with kitchenbeard and sf_luke to finalize some cooking arrangements (and by cooking, I mean reheating...kitchenbeard would cut me if I made it seem like he 'cooked' the corn dogs and mozzarella sticks). I had never met Luke and he lived up to his humorous reputation!dacubsf's service was really beautiful. Sitting there before hand watching everyone arrive, I realized that even though I never met jeff, I seemed to know about 80% of the people there. If the company he chose to keep is any hint at who he was as a person, then I know I would have liked him.During the ceremony there was the time for people who knew jeff to stand up and share a story, or memory with everyone. It was very emotional and sad, but also very humorous. Good cries as well as good laughs.
I'm not sure what came over me but before I could stop myself I walked up to the front of the church in front of everyone and shared my own 2 cents. I'm sure there were people there who probably thought I had no business being there, let alone SPEAKING at his memorial...but I didn't care. There were things that needed to be said, so I said them.
Basically I said that I had never met jeff once. Not a single time. But that I did get to witness the outpouring, and the concern, and the act of all his friends taking it upon themselves to raise money, visit, support, make his last days as comfortable as possible, and make sure his mom didn't have to take care of everything herself. I said that if jeff could be at his own memorial and could speak, he'd tell everyone how proud he was, and how lucky and fortunate he was to have the friends he does.
Of course I couldn't hold it together and started crying halfway through my little improv speech, which made me feel silly since I didn't officially know the man I was talking about. But I have gotten to know his friends and by the tears and smiles of everyone there, I know they appreciated hearing it.
I can only hope that if I were to die, my friends would take care of my mother and make sure my memorial was casual, fun, emotional, full of funny stories, friends, silly food, and a sense of both closure and a lifetime of remembrance.
