Mixed emotions...

Friday....

After a hellish week (right after a hellish week LAST WEEK and a crazy busy Hairrison Weekend) Friday night I went out with Phil to 440 and got nice and drunk. Not fall over drunk, just "WEEE IT'S OVER TILL MONDAY drunk." It was a great night especially with everyone back from Burning Man finally. It's kind of amazing how much an event catered to creative, adventurous, and fun people that is OUTSIDE of the city can drain a LOT of the creative, adventurous, and fun people out of SF. Crazy right?? ;)

Saturday....

I was supposed to have a super secret meeting of the O.G.S.F club but a certain founding member had to get a bridge replaced in his mouth. Phil and I decided to instead to try our luck and go to see the Chihuly exhibit at the DeYoung but when we got there we realized we would have had to wait 2 hours to see it, so we opted to just walk around a little bit and head home. Maybe next weekend.

I headed to Bearracuda to set up the CDJ's they were borrowing from me (because Deco STILL hasn't replaced their COMPLETELY BROKEN busted-ass equipment). 50poundnote was spinning that night and I refuse to let him spin on nasty equipment. :) After setting it all up for him, Phil and I took a Bearracuda off and went over to check out Blow Off. We heard amazing things from people who had gone to the Blow Off's in NY, plus neither of us had every been to Slim's (where it was held).
WHAT A FUN NIGHT!
Everyone was in a dance-y mood and it seemed like the party pulled a lot of "non-regular-dancing-bears" out of their apartments to come have a good time. I danced most of the night, but around 1am I kind of "lost my legs" and opted to sit in the corner on a stool and (how markosf put it) "chair dance." While afterwords everyone headed to The End Up I opted to head home since I was fading fast. One of these days I will actually go to The End Up.....for the first time.

However when I headed home I had a HORRIBLE case of insomnia and couldn't relax. My body was exhausted but my mind was racing and my eyes wouldn't stay closed. I just felt very overwhelmed and on edge. A lot of things were racing through my mind but one thought, a very selfish one unfortunately, kept coming to the surface.

My Birthday.

I'm one of those weird people who actually LIKES celebrating my birthday because I rarely got to as a kid (my dancing and gymnastic schedule always conflicted) and it's a great excuse to get all my friends together and have a fun time. This year my birthday was falling on a Saturday, AND a Bearracuda night, AND a UNDERWEAR BEARRACUDA at that, which means everyone and their mother were going to be there!! I was horribly excited about it fueled mainly by Mattacuda being a sweetheart and making a big deal of it being my B'Day.

But at Blow Off I realized that the NEXT one was Saturday, November 29th.
ON my birthday.

The Wheat side of me was saying "it's a super fun party and maybe you can do something friday night instead" but the Frosted side of me was a little disappointing that people might have to feel like they are forced to choose between the two parties, something that I didn't want at all. It's a bi-monthly reoccurring party that will be every other month, but not enough Blow Off's have happened yet where people could say "I can skip this one and go to the next one" and I know this because I DON'T WANT to skip the next one because it was really really fun.

Is that selfish? Paranoid?

I don't know. It was just looking so perfect and a major wrench is thrown into it now. It's hard for me to just shrug it off.

Bearracuda + running around in my underwear or less + all my friends together in one club + actually ON my birthday. Oh well.